On June 6, 2010, 66 years after D-Day, one of the best examples of heroism ever witnessed by history, Tim (the 'chickenhearted') Fisher failed to appear to defend his title as club champion of the ASC&DC because he was either (1) busy entertaining his in-laws or (2) he was recovering from a couple of hours of on call duty at the hospital earlier in the week. Neither excuse was accepted by the reigning Board of Directors which is considering a number of potential sanctions.
Fisher's failure to appear is not a new occurrence. Unreliable reports from the President of the esteemed East Surry Road Running Club indicate that Dr. Tim is currently on probation from that organization for failure to appear at a single training event for the last four months.
Oh, by the way, Dave Stabler won the 2010 Championship over current club president (though not for life) Henry Spindler in a tough four game match, 7-11, 11-7, 12-10 and 11-5.
Stabler had won the club championships in 2007 and 2008. Stabler did not play last year thereby ceding the championship to Fisher, who essentially won by default in what club insiders refer to as the 'asterisk championship.'
In his semi-final match, Stabler won another four-game match, this time against Marc Ducharme, 6-11, 11-9, 11-6 and 11-7. The other semi-final match pitted Spindler against Chris Schwabe, with Spindler also advancing in four games, 11-8, 11-7, 7-11, and 11-3.
The LOWLIGHT of the tournament, other than Fisher's absence, was the final game of the match between Spindler and Schwabe. Spindler was up 10-0 and was on the verge of securing the first skunking in the history of club tournament play going back to 1908, when Schwabe clearly interfered with Spindler's attempt at a shot during the longest point of the match (as opposed to 'the longest day') but Spinder did not request a let or a stroke. Umpire Gordon and the entire gallery was prepared to award the bagel game to Spindler on a technicality but Schwabe begged and pleaded with Spindler to refrain from asking for a let or stroke.
A conference of the gallery ensued in which Stabler, Schwabe's brother-in-law, argued adamantly in favor of awarding a stoke and the game and match to Spindler. However, Lake and Ducharme convinced yours truly to let the point stand, a call which I now regret.
Randy Lake won the consolation final over me, 11-7, 11-8, 5-11 and 11-5. Randy took little comfort in the win given that it had been such a long time since I had played squash that I had to MAPQUEST directions to the Court.
The club will resume tournament play in the fall with its annual Halloween Tournament. There was some early wagering on whether Fisher would appear at the next tournament.
KEVIN GORDON, OFFICIOUS CLUB EMAILER AND FORMER PRESIDENT FOR LIFE, THOUGH NOT DEAD, YET
Last change: 01/14/14 |
Hang on there...